Anyone who has spent an extended amount of time in the hospital knows it is a difficult trek. You find yourself riding a roller coaster of emotions.
When the patient is doing well, you are great, but when that's not the case, the experience is not so desirable.
You live for little luxuries like Starbucks coffee, and 'parent night' massages and manicures. You find yourself getting 'nurse brain', which is where you always hear beeping, no matter where you are, and whether there truly is beeping or not. You also get skilled at what I'll term the 'running of the bulls.'
You become skilled at traversing down 4, 5 or even 8 floors, three hallways and 2 coded doors to make it to your car before just letting the tears flow. Sit in a hospital lobby for any length of time and you will see family after family doing the proverbial run. Some make it and some don't. Some sit in the middle of the lobby and cry, others slowly disintegrate into a ball of hurting mush, and others revert to the days when it was ok to just lose all control and have a full blown tantrum in the middle of the floor. Well in Children's Hospital this reality is magnified by the fact that everyone here is fighting or mourning for a child.
Our final run was the longest run ever. It ended just as it had began, with my daughter, my husband and me. Well we did add Trinity who is a ball of life in our 596 day journey, and our Brooky Team was "here for it." But in the end our run was just the the four of us. We almost made it, but it was difficult because everyone offers their condolences and comes in for the hug. We were also weighed down by everything that had ever been part of Brooky's room, so the memories were directly in our faces.
Brooky and I had many a medley and one included the lyrics:
'and now let the weak say I am strong, let the poor say i am rich because of what the Lord has done for us give thanks.'
So in all of this we give thanks that Brooky's weak little heart is now strong, that her struggle with meds is over, her trach days have come to an end, and her little broken body is made whole.
We give thanks because she has left us better than she found us. That she has left us totally desperate for a word from the Lord, for guidance from on high and for clarity in word, thought and deed.
We give thanks because her life was a blessing to hundreds of thousands of people, and that she is a
"missionary who has met her mission,"
"minister who has ministered to the masses,"
"warrior who has won her war."
We give thanks because despite our pain, Brooky is at rest and has heard the Father say, "Well done thy good and faithful servant."
As we complete our final run of the bulls we realize
Her smile will forever be etched in our hearts.
We love you #BeautifulBrooklyn and thank you for making the world a greater, more loving place. RWG our precious angel, you will be sorely missed.
What do we need?
First and foremost we need prayer. The tears flow often and without warning. The pain is deep and long lasting. But we can feel the strength of the prayer warriors pressing us on.
We need the loving support that has been provided by so many so consistently.
And finally we need to bury our precious angel while also making it possible for Sheltaya to carry on for at least a little while without the stressors of work and bills to convolute her grieving process. With that said we are asking that in lieu of flowers, please send a donation to
Thank you, and may God remind you to do a random act of kindness every time your heart feels heavy for our princess.
In lieu of flowers, donations are accepted at https://www.youcaring.com/BeautifulBrooklyn